I'm in a episode of Pleasantville

Three teenagers are sitting on the street car across from me. The 2 boys (yes, they are young enough that I may call them boys) are wearing some kinda pseudo miliatry outfit and there is a girl sitting next to them. This is an actual conversation that I heard from them.....


Girl: Hey where is your blazer?
Boy1: OH NO!! I forgot!!!!
Boy2: I thought you had it in your bag with your hat.
Boy1: This is NOT good. I'm so going to get yelled at today.
Girl: Gosh! Look at your shoes didn't you polish them at all. [gosh!? Who uses the word gosh? ]
Boy1: they're not that bad.
Boy 1 looks at Boy 2's shoes.
Boy1: How did you get yours so shiny??
Girl: Here take your shoes off and I'll polish them for you.
at this point Girl takes from her backpack...I kid you not shoe polish and a rag and starts polishing the shoe!
Boy2: you can always tell [muffled words] that your blazer is getting fixed
Boy1: I can't do that...That would be lying.
Boy2: True.
Girl: I can't believe you just suggested that. LYING is very BAD!

At this point I left the streetcar.

SO here is my question. OMG are these people for real!!! Maybe this is a product of my cynicism, but the 14 yrs old of my acquaintance didn't worry about how shiny thier shoes were. Heck, when I was 14 I probably couldn't tell you what shoe polish was for.
It was too weird. I felt like I was in the twlight zone.

Why are IT services all the same?

So, for no apparent reason yesterday the internet stopped working. And this of course resulted in a general mass hysteria within the household. The female half of the Tribble emerged from its unit and came running downstairs.

"CbKE!! The internet isn't working. Can you fix it?" [Well, how do you think I'm supposed to fix it you idiot. Reset, the damn router yourself!!! Argh.]
CbKE: "Yeah, hold on let finish my breakfast and I'll take a look."
f1/2T: "Ok, well that's fine. Its well I just can't work if the internet isn't working and I'd really would like it to work." [I still don't understand how this is my problem. And for f@#! sakes, you know where the off button as well as I do. ]
CbKE: "I"ll be just a minute." [go have sex or something and leave me alone]
f1/2T: "ok"
f1/2T stands at the modem staring alternatively looking at it and looking at CkBE.
f1/2T: "mmm, you will look at it right"
CbKE: "yeah, I will in a minute" [god you have a smaller attention span than the Stinky Monkey]
Rose: "oh and why don't you help us clean up the dining and kitchen while you're down here so that the place looks nicer for the person looking at your room." [Sweet! Rose you've done it. Now she'll run up stairs and stop bothering me. yes!]
f1/2T: "oh, mmmm, mmmm. Ah... well you know I really should go clean up my room."
f1/2T takes off up to her love nest at the speed of light.
Rose: "Was it something I said?" [hmmm there are times when I wonder about this girl]
CbKE:" hahahaha..."

Needless to say CkBE doesn't really do anything about the internet situation until of she realized how much she uses it as a procrastination method. HAHahahahaha After many minutes of frustration, realization dawns. Hmmm it's not the modem it's the router. So Ckbe, takes on the horrendous act of seeking out IT services from the corporation that makes the device.

Rose: "did you find out what's wrong?"
CkBE: "well it's the router not the modem cause it works if I plug the computer into the modem. So I'm going to try to look up the support number and call them" [right, need a pen gotta get up and get a pen]
CkBE returns to discover Rose is cleaning up the desk. Replacing the wires and reorganizing them so that she may play girl music. NOOOoooooooooo!!!!!!! (ok must admit there are moments when CkBE likes girly music)
CkBE:"um Rose, please don't clean I'm still trying to play with all those pieces to see if I can get them to work. Putting them away DOESN'T help me" [OMG, can this women stop cleaning for 5 f-ing seconds.]
Rose: "oh ok"

In the distance a heavy thundering could be heard. Is it a bird, a plan, a herd of stampeding mammoths, no it's Chris he has awakened to find that the internet isn't working. Chris emerges next to the desk and frantically starts seeking his connection muttering in unintelligable grumbles.

CkBE: "ah...Chris. The internet isn't working."
C: "what? why am I unplugged" [wow! he's still looking for his cable he really is slow sometimes]CkBE:"Chris, the no one's internet is working. There is something wrong with the router. I have disconnected everyone so that I can fix the router so that you can have your internet back." [crap! I wonder if I said that too fast]
C: "oh...so no one's internet works"
CkBE: "no"
C:"umm ok then" [pheww...]

After, numerous attempts and journeys through the website of the dreaded router company. CkBE emerges victorious to find the tech support number, only to discover that it is like all other tech support services. The navigation through the horrendous self-select maze took many moons to complete. When CkBE finally discovers the human person at the centre of the maze she discovers to her dismay it is a reincarnation of RICHARD SIMMONS!!!!!!!!

RS:"so MAM, how can I help you today" [MAM! Why does he make it sound like Yam?]
CkBE: "well our router doesn't work. We aren't getting any internet connection when connect the modem to the router but I am getting a connection when I connect the modem directly to the computer"
RS: "Are you sure your modem and your router is connected MAM?" [what the F!@# do you take me for, yes the DAMN things are connected]
CkBE: "yes I'm sure"
RS: "Are you sure you are getting a signal?" [I JUST SAID THAT IT WORKS FINE IF I AM NOT USING YOUR STUPID PRODUCT!!!!!!!]
CkBE: "yes, everything works unless I connect via the router"
RS: "ah well MAM, give me one moment" [why must they always play elevator music, argh!]

The monotonic sounds of the hold key. Sound like sirens that slowly put you into a trance. Until of course the trance is broken by the sound of the Stinky Monkey as he fornicates with the inannimate objects in the room.

RS:"oh well here's the problem MAM, your router hasn't been registered probably and it hasn't been getting the updates. Now I am going to register your product now and then reset it in a power cycle. You know what a power cycles is right MAM?" [why do you have to call it that? Just say turn everything off and then turn it all back own again]
CkBE: "Yes"

The cycle commences. The quest has been completed and internet returns!!

RS: "well if that will be all MAM, for future reference all our technical support data can be found on our website, simply type in the router model number and you will be able to access these pages. They will ALWAYS answer all your questions.
[Well if I could have found the answer there don't you think I would have actully avoid talking to you you Knobend!!!]I would like to thank you for using our services today, thank you and have a nice day."

Rant

Ok. I promised that I would be more diligent concerning updating my blog. So sorry for those who are reading it who has never encountered my sense of logic. So begins the rant....

rant #1:
Don't worry sars your car is fine. However, the driving of it was an extremely stressful experience. As much as Rose is lovely and wonderful, she is a back seat driver and at some point i think i subconsciously made the car jerk more just to piss her off. hahahahha
Anyways, I have truly concluded that Toronto drivers are just plain mean, angry and just plain ignorant. No honking will not make me go faster than 70 nor will it make me be able to restart the car any faster (don't worry sars I only really did it once and it was on a hill). It only makes me want to sit there and simply turn my hazards so that I can piss you off more. There is another lane, GO INTO IT IF YOU ARE IN SUCH A HURRY!!! All in all it was a fairly sucessful process, we even managed to get it in the garage. Hahahaha

so rant #2:
Sorry, Sars your beautiful plan of how Beandog and Stinky Monkey would be fine with the sleeping arrangements didn't work out so well. Let's just say Beandog decided that it would be appropriate to cry like a little baby for about 15 mins. As much as i like seeing a grown man cry that was just no so cool. He did manage to calm down and take a nap but the moment I got up to go to the bathroom he started again. Which really really didn't go over well when i tried to lock him in the room. The he start to REALLY get upset. He was panicking so much that the Stinky Monkey who was quietly sleeping in the Super Hippy's room demanded to be let out. After much running around and screaming the both ended up in the Supper Hippy's room. Which apparently as i have since discovered also wasn't an ideal solution because Beandog spent half the night restlessly pacing. And after letting have the free run of the house spent the rest of the night aimlessly searching for Sars.


so here is the bottom line. THe dogs and the car is fine. Sars, by the time you get back i may have started medicating both your dogs. but look at the bright side, at least there'll be a supply of valium and prozac at home.