The poop report

Gina: "what is that smell?" [crap...she's smelled the pot]
CkBE: "I dunno ... where'd you smell it?" [it's not me is it?]
G: "I don't know but it's right by the front door" [whew!! It's not me]
Stinky Monkey: "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Nooooooooooooo. NOOooooooooooooooo. It's the Nibbler! MUST Chase NIblBler!!!!!!!" [Hmmm. Note to self: Bring SM Ritalin. Lots of it, maybe Lithium]
Beandog: "Just walking through. Just walk through. Is that food? I'd like food. Food please. Yes please." [Well that's weird he usual head straight for the food]
G: "Come with me and tell me if you smell it." [Crap now I have to get up off my ass]
SM: "I am the all powerful Goa'uld, you must all bow down before me!!!! HAHAHAHAHAaaa.. What just bit my tail?!! Nibbler!!!! NIBBbbleerrrrrrrrrr i will chase you till the ends of the earth. .....OH! oh! what's that! It's shiny. OHhhhhhhhhh shiny pretty!" [Definately ADD.....i wonder how he has that much energy]


G and CbKE take the long and ardious hike to the living room.

G: "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! That is poop." [No shit Sherlock....well ok it is shit]
CbKE: "yup"
G: "Who do you think did it?" [well, let's see if i can put my powers of deduction to work?....Big poop would therefore equal big dog. Therefore i must conclude that it's BEANDOG!!]
CbKE: "Well considering it's the size of Nibbler I would have to say it was Shane or Chris." [Ow!!! She didn't have to hit me.....I was just kidding]
G: hahaha VERY funny [whoa...I didn't know she was capable of sarcasm"
SM: "I'm here!!! I'm Here!!! Pay attention to me!!!!!!!!!!"
G: "Well, we're just going to have to wait for Sarcatrix to get home to clean it up cause that's just gross." [Right...Like leaving it here isn't]
CbKE: "Dont' worry about it, I'll do it"
G: "Oh well you shouldn't have to do it you should wait" [Right now that you've made me smell it and i know it's here]
CbKE: "Don't stress about it. OH look Shane's home." [well that will make her go away]
SM: "BEandog is in trouble!! Beandog is in trouble! hahahahhaa....NOooooo don't beat me Beandog.. I didn't mean it!! noo....it was nibbler yes it was nibbler"
G: "OH...hehehhe....well ok....we'll be upstairs if you need us" [Bunnies!! They are SOOO bunnies!"


Meanwhile: Nibbler sits underneath the couch with a evil smile and rubs her paws together. HAHAHAHAHAHAhahaa

Funeral

Memorial for the dead mouse in the corner.


"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to say goodbye to mousie. He (maybe she) was a good mouse, small....furry...and gray. I still remember the time when she/he sustained him/herself on a powerbar for three months. It was a truly heroic effort...well simply because we all now how disgusting powerbars are. We thought you hand only gone for a trip dear mousie had we known you were lying there decomposing we would have come to take you to the green bin much sooner. So to the big compost heap you go. You're in a better place now, in mouse heaven where mice roam free in the hills of cheese and where you can laugh at cats from afar. Farewell, dear mousie."

Sweatpant Coutre

Cute but Kinda Evil: "Look, look, look what I've got." [i love shopping!! i love shopping!!]
Sarcastrix: "They're sweatpants" [She's rolling her eyes, un oh .....]
CbKE: "what?" [hmmm ....i really should have had that second coffee]
S: "Like you need more sweatpants" [ but i like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
CbKE: "I like sweatpants..."
S: "I know"
CbKE: "I also like Yoga pants."
S: "What is the difference?" [OMG...there is SUCH a difference]
CbKE: "ewwwwww is Ford buying trackpants" [OH god they're tapered....hmmm....I wonder if i should tell him that they are probably WAY to short........ nah]
S: "Yes, but I made him promise not to wear them out." [Yes!]


So, after that conversation I realized the need to educate others on the finer points of sweatpant coutre. There are several catagorizes that one can choose from when selecting a "sweatpant", one must select carefully and pair it with the correct accessories before you can get the desired effect. First and foremost, they MUST NOT BE TAPERED!

1) The Look: Exam Hell (or period week)
Definition: Baggy cotton sweatpants that are rolled down at the waist, accompanied by oversized sweatshirt, pony tail and glasses.
This look is made more effect if the pants have a crotch that hangs down to the knees and knees that hang half way down the shins.
Meaning: 1) "i don't care what i look like...i have way to much crap to cram into my head" 2) "shut up and leave me alone!!! I don't care...just give me chocolate!!! mmmmmmmm...chocolate"

2) The Look: Velour mania
Definition: Matching velour tracksuits with very form fitting tops and wide legged bottoms.
There are several variations to this look: 1) JLo: this is from the original fad from a couple of years ago...for this look you will need itty bitty purse that will hold your lipstick, avator glasses and stelleto runners. 2) University student taking advantage of JLo fad: Tracksuit...sweet. PJ's and going out close all in one. Accessories recquired for this look include runners with enormous laces. Also, pockets should contain pens, a dime bag and rolling paper.
Meaning: A) "look i am SOOO cool, I dress just like JLo" B) "Sweet, I don't have to get changed in the morning...Dude. my hands are huge!"

3) The Look: Yoga mama
Definition: TNA or Lululemon, body skimming, ass hugging yoga outfit. Like Velour mania there are several variations to this look. A) Non-excersizing gym member: to complete outfit you need an expensive pair of runners, cell phone, perfect make-up, fake nails, fake tan and salon styled hair. B) Trendaholic: dressing the outfit for the sake that yoga and it's various paraphenial is trendy. Accessories include all yoga related materials. C) Asslicious: no other accessories required.
Meaning: a) "I am sooo not here to sweat, I'm here to look good. The gym is where I go to get checked out, cause I am SO hot. Damn it! I broke a nail." B) "OK...so in Feburary, I ABSOLUTELY have to buy the deep V-tank in electric purple cause purple is SOOO Feburary" C) "OMG, OMG, these pants actually make my ass look good. SWEEET!"