Random thoughts of Silly

spam

2006-03-13T11:02:00.000-05:00

So I haven't posted in a while...
but really comment spam is UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Have we exhausted the use of email spam already? Wasn't that annoying enough? Must we resort to comment spam? OR better yet who out there has gotten phone spam? I don't mean telemarketers, cause then you're at least talking to a real person. I've been getting recorded phone ads on my cell phone. I for some strange reason throught that was illegal (or does that only apply to your land line).

To all spammers out there here are several reasons why I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT and you're marketing scheme SUCKS.

1) I am not male so please stop sending me ads on way to enlarge my penis.
2) Stop calling me fat, it is rude.
3) I do not need any kind of toy that costs more that my tuition.
4) I do not need a year supply of any of the following: diapers, donuts, acne drugs, dog food, diet pills, libido inhancers, or fake eyelashes
5) If you are going to spam, for GOD sakes spell things right!!!
6) STOP CALLING ME FAT!!
7) No I do not what to take a 100 page survey.
8) I really could care less between one brand or another, I'm a student I just buy whatever one is on sale.
9) again enlarging my penis is not a priority.
10) really stop calling me fat!

Orientation

2005-10-04T11:05:00.000-04:00

August 23, 2005
Khao Lak

Orientation - well for something that they INSIST that you attend this is really not that well organized. We were basically all loaded up into trucks and taking to some of the sites to look at the projects that where going on. Don't get me wrong it was impressive to see how much was being accomplished in each of these sites, especially when you look around and all you see are graveyards of foundations all over the landscape. I cannot imagine what that survivors have lived through. There is still a sense of sadness in the air but there is also a great deal of hope. One of the highlight of the tour was the boats.

The boats are exactly has they are described boats. The only surprising thing about them is that they are at least 4 km off of the shore. The police boat is perhaps the most famous of these, even though it is the smallest of the vessels. The story has it that this was the police boat that was accompanying the queen's grandson when he was water skiing. It was also unfortunately where the prince's body was found after two days of searching by the Thai government in the aftermath of the tsunami. So, it's now a monument to the prince. It is actually quite weird because it just sits across from a market place, I hear they are going to set up chairs or something.

Anyways, by lunch we ended up at Laem Pom the site where Leia, Faith and I will be working. Laem pom is an absolutely beautiful village that is slowly recovering from the tsunami and from land claims issues. So...here is a great rant. Not only does this poor community have to live through the horrors of a natural disaster the day after the tsunami a huge company moves in a walls off their village claiming that this was their land and that all trespassers will be shot. No one was allowed in to search for their loved ones. OMG!!!! Ok, I know this sounds dramatic but I am not kidding you. Apparently this company had been trying to get their hands on this land for some time. However, to myself and many of the other volunteers this aspects is horrifying. I do not understand how people can treat others this way. It was truly one of the most awful aspects of human culture that I have ever encountered.

You want to go WHERE??????:

2005-09-22T12:57:00.000-04:00

August 22, 2005
Khao Lak

Yesterday, we flew from Chaing Mai to Phuket so that we could get to Khao Lak where we would be volunteering for the next two weeks. Getting to Khao Lak actually proved to be much more frustrating that we thought it would be. The reaction of people when we told them where we wanted ranged greatly, basically it was "why?????". No one wanted to take us there and kept offering us to go to other places and telling us we really didn't want to go there.

In the end, we took an airport taxi. However, the frustrations did not end there. I had no contact with the volunteer centre myself and had just assumed that either Faith or Leia would know where we were going. I was wrong. None of us knew where we were going, our poor driver probly spent a good half hour driving us back around the national park and the town trying to figure out where we needed to go. After driving aimlessly for a while our driver pulled into a parking lot infront of a bar. Pointed at someone and said why don't you ask them. [so in truth he pulled into the parking lot of a bar with white people sitting front of it, pointed to them and said they'll speak english ask them].

After all that we found the centre and got registered in.

We are staying in a bungalow that is behind Pia Massage and Bar, the bar that we had pulled into originally. It's weird that we're living behind a bar but it is also the nicest place we have stayed thus far. I have no idea how this is going to work though with all 3 of us sharing a tiny room like this. oh well we'll see.

Tourist day

2005-09-22T12:46:00.000-04:00

August 20, 2005
Chaing Mai

Yesterday, immediately after arriving in Chaing Mai we had gotten waylaid on our way to our guesthouse by this woman who was part of the tourst assoication. So basically we got talked into doing one of the touristy things that we have since arriving in Thailand. Anyways, today we left for a day trip so that we can ride elephants, visit some of the hilltribes and ride bamboo rafts. We had lots of fun but I did learn several things from this visit.

1) Elephants are really agile. They were scrambling up hills that I would not try to hike up.
2) In general, the local men will make any excuse to touch the white girls. (HAHAHHAHAHA)
3) The villages tend to expect you to buy something.
4) A "walk" is really a hour long hike thorugh the jungle on a path that is about a foot wide.
5) "It will be a little slippery" means "oh you WILL fall. "
6) it is really difficult to swim towards a waterfall.
7) I am accident prone.
8) expect to get wet when anyone is taking you anywhere on a raft.
9) you get over the fact that there are bugs everywhere really quickly
10) did i mention that the local men will make any excuse to touch the white girls.

But overall it was a great experience. Had lots of fun. Took lots and lots of pictures.

mmmmm food

2005-09-17T00:33:00.000-04:00

August 19, 2005
Chiang Mai - Cooking Class

Since we were only going to be in Chiang Mai for the next couple of days, this was going to be the only chance we would have of taking a Thai cooking course. There were seven of us altogether me, Lei, Faith and four Brits. So as someone who cooks regularly and enjoys cooking it was really funny to watch the people around me. Cause baby can you tell exactly who doesn't cook.
I totally thought someone was going to cut/burn themselves before the night was over.

Anyways, we started the class off a the market place where we bought all the ingredients that would be needed for the stuff we have decided to make. I don't know if I should be amused or not at the antics of the Brits that where in our group. Both couples ran around taking pictures of the market place and I don't mean pictures of the whole market place. I kid you not, this is a conversation that I overheard.

Brit Girl #1: "oh my god!!! Look! Look!"
Brit Boy #1: "Wot?"
BG #1: "look at that. Its a trotter. Take a picture." hahaha " I can't believe it's a trotter"
flash flash
BG#2: "hey wot are you looking at"
BG#1: "its a trotter!!!!"
BG#2: "Oh my god! Honey you have to take a picture of this!!"

I was really was amazed at their enthusiasm. And you really could see that they were having a great time. Maybe I'm just being cynical or I'm just more used to seeing stuff like this.

Ahh Deet how I adore you

2005-09-17T00:17:00.000-04:00

August 19, 2005
Chiang Mai

I have made a discovery: twelve hour train rides basically leave you feeling like you've just spent a month without shower. I felt gross. Ok I must point out that we did spend an entire day in Bangkok and then hop on an overnight train that would take us to Chiang Mai, all without showering. So basically I was gross, well disgusting really. hahaha if only my mom could see me now.

The train itself is not that bad a of a ride. They set you up with a bed with linens and a pillow and the idea is that you will sleep the entire trip. Well that' s the idea anyways. So there I was all snug in my little bed cubby and really asleep for the first time since arriving on this trip and I kinda realize hmmm wait a minute why am I so cold??????

I open my eyes and guess what I see. The window has fallen down completely and it's now raining. Now as a former Vancouverite I don't mind the rain, we actually like it. And being a little damp isn't anything new considering the its about 98% humidity and really we're never going to be dry anyways. It is the fact that as I look around I am covered, COVERED in bugs.
[Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I really have no idea how long that window had been open but the train has already entered the more rural areas of Thailand as we had gone along. All the bugs that had been on the trees next to the train tracts are now crawling all over me. So I did what any rational adult would do. I jumped up and started flung the sheets from me like the girly girl that I am. Hopping up and down to get them all off me.

Hey...What would you do. At least after shaking everything off I climbed back into that bed and got more sleep. [After I had emptied an entire container of bug spray onto my sleeping bag and body. ]

12 hours of insanity

2005-08-27T06:16:00.000-04:00

August 17, 2005
Bangkok City

So we arrived in Thailand at midnight and by this point all I can say is that we were cranky and tired. That is to be expected...so we end up in this hotel by the airport. There were only 2 highlights of this place the free airport shuttle and the buffet breakfast. It was to put it succently GROSS. But lets move on.

We spent 12 hours in Bangkok city and lets just say it was an experience. This is probably one of the busiest cities I have ever encountered (and i've lived in Hong Kong...so this says something). You have a strange collection billboards, highways and temples that gleam in the setting sun that can be found throughout the city. It really is beautiful but it is one of the most dirty places I have ever been. By the end of the day I could feel the grime of city clinging to my skin. But actually I didn't mind it as much as my travel companions. [oh well]

I do love how everone seems to drive in Thailand....street lines appear to be suggestions. We all are used to how motorcycles dart in and out of traffic but it appears that cars/trucks and busses get to do that too. It really is amusing to watch.

Anyways, we ended up seeing some amazing temples and monuments. Such as the standing buddha, the Sitting Buddha, and the Golden Mountain. [we went to the Grand Palace but really it was way to expensive to get in as a Farang].

So here are the not so pleasant aspects of Bangkok.....

1) Tuk Tuk drivers - really i know that i'm walking around with 2 girls that look like walking ATMs really enough is enough. Our experience with Tuk Tuk drivers was extremely disheartening. The first driver we encountered quoted us a price and proceeded to ask us to do him a favour and go into a store for10 mins so that the store can give him a free gas coupon. Now let me clearly state that he called this place a mall and we said "ok one stop". But as we arrived we discovered that the mall was really a tailor and the only possible way that we could stay 10 mins is that if we were having something made. So needless to say we didn't end up there for needed time. Our driver then proceeded to tell us that we needed to go to another stop and that we really needed to stay 10 mins. So screw this. Basically we got out and hailed a cab. [this experience was made much worse when our second driver pulled the same stunt.]

2) The shear number of drunken farang boys that have come here to shag there way accross Thailand. [yeah sweety just cause i look thai doesn't mean i don't understand the rude commen ts....it was funny watching one fall off his motorcycle when i replied to him in english].

3) The pollution and smog. (this should be self explanatory).

so i'm a bad communicator

2005-08-26T07:15:00.000-04:00

Hey all!! Yeah so much for my promise to keep this thing updated. I'm having a little difficult actually getting to the internet...mainly cause I'm too lazy to walk to the free internet place that's about a 40-min walk from where we're staying and too cheap to pay the local fees. What can I say. Anyways so the finally get to the internet place I forgot completely to bring my little notebook with my rantings in it. DAMN it. Yeah i'm dumb.

Anyways, so brief catch up and then i'll back log all the other info at a later date. Currently we are staying in Khao Lak where we are doing our volunteer work. Ah if anyone out there reading this i would like to do a quick plug for volunteers. THEY NEED PEOPLE. There entire communities that need to be rebuilt and the more volunteers that could come the better. So if you have time, feel like taking a trip to Thailand and feel like weilding a trowel or a paintbrush come on down. (even better if you have some construction skills...unlike us).

Ok. So here is a list of the place we have been so far.

Bangkok - psychotically busy, polluted but definately interesting.
Chiang Mai - a calmer version of Bangkok, with way less pollution and just a calmer atmosphere (Also its about 5 degrees cooler).
Phuket - didn't really see it. Decent airport though.
Khao Lak - great town. Can totally see that it was once a major tourest attraction but now the entire town is mainly made up of volunteers and the local business people.
Surat Thani - really long story will get into at a later rant. But really F*#@! hot...apparently its not moonson season there.

Yeah so that's it so far. I'm having a great time so far. I've had a few moments when i've wanted to kill/maim/go home/etc but overall its been fabulous!!!!

the efficency

2005-08-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

Aug. 17th, 2005 5:30pm (Japan time)

Narita airport - there are three words to describe it. NEW CAR SMELL

the smell is everywhere and everything is extremely shiny and new. But the smell is overwhelming its kinda of gross actually. Anyways, so arriving here has been an experience, sixteen hour flights well ....GROSS [for those who understand you must imagine this with a Latin accent].
hahahahahaha

Anyways, the technology and efficiency of Japan is reflected everywhere we go. There are lite signs everywhere directing you where to go, the vending machines are also very organized and very well light. And of course everything is so cutesy it makes you want to either puke or take it all home with you.

The beginning

2005-08-17T15:47:00.000-04:00

Editor's note: The following post was written at the end of a 26-hour flight. As such, it makes no sense. At all. Like, for real.
The Sarcastrix

And now, on with the post...

Narita Airport, Japan
17 August 2005

The panicky excitment of leaving today for the trip has yet to set in. Everything I have done so far still feels hazy and dreamlike, mind you this could be from slow absorption of the caffiene into my bloodstream. Anyways, so it is currently 7:45am at the Pearson airport and all I can think is can the girls get here yet. The line up to the checkin counter has gotten longer and longer since I've gotten here. It is extremely annoying.

So it has been many many years since I have last been on an international flight. (and most certainly not ever when i have been of a legal age). Hahahaha
Through our browsing of the free airline magazine that we are given I see that international fights server free booze. [SWEET!!!]
This is fabulous considering how much of a mooching alcoholic I am. However, as much as I have taken advantage it was no nearly on par with one of our fellow flyers. Whom i watch consume and extraordinary amount of beer and burbon within a two period. [hey buddy, leave some for the rest of us] it really was quite extraordinary that he didn't puke half way through.

Off to Thailand

2005-08-14T16:32:00.000-04:00

Hey all!!
As the title states I will be off to Thailand in a couple of days. YAY!!! Vacation. Well not really considering me a couple of the of my fellow classmates are going to spend 2/3 of this vacation volunteering. So considering they may or may not want to be named in my neurotic fiction/realty mix they will be now forever dubbed Faith and Leia. (Yes bask in the geek-tastic-ness of those two names hahahahahaha. Sorry girls if you are reading this and you object to name. I claim artistic license).

So lets review some of the discoveries of I have during the last few weeks concerning trip planning.

A) 3 nursing students = gigantic hypochondriacs (yes we have probably packed every medical supply imaginable)

B) Volunteering agencies can be extremely annoying to deal with, in their expectations.

C) Scheduling a meeting between traveling partners is a bitch.

D) Parents will immediately imagine the worse things that can possibly happen to you on a trip and decide to post frequent emails to you to remind you of them.

E) Things stated that take 2-3 business days, actually takes two weeks in real time.

F) knowing where you last saw your passport does not necessarily mean that the evil creatures living in your room hasn't moved it.

eater of socks

2005-06-27T16:37:00.000-04:00

The eater has struck again and he has moved beyond dirty items!!

hid your socks everyone he's coming!!!

Sun worshipping

2005-06-27T13:54:00.000-04:00

So ....the pride parade was one of the most awesome spectically of bodacious bods.

It was great...i have the wonderous boob tube tan line now it's hilarious. So here is my question. Why don't straight men look like the ones on the floats?

HAHHAHAHA

so here we are a million crammed along 2 impossible long fences and baking waiting to the incredibly slow parade to march by. and occasionally there will be "prizes" that were thrown into the crowds. I was standing beside this middle aged asian woman who kept grabbing the "prizes" so that she could give them to her kids who were with her mother across the street. So each time she would get something she'd turn to me and ask what it was. The look on her face when i told her she was holding a condom and lube was priceless. She threw them at me with a look of horror on her face. It was great!!!

Bubblegum flavoured lube! sweet!

Please i need you to spend some money

2005-06-16T22:38:00.000-04:00

Ok, I should be studying. but i got this email from a classmate and so i went to http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=19467881So here's the deal, I get a free ipod if I sign up with something else (well 5 of you). So sadly i joined Columbia house. please can someone join also so i can get the ipod!!! please with sugar on top.Yes i'm procrastinating but i can't help it. yeah i'm a sucker ...whatever its an ipod and i'm poor.

mousie

2005-06-05T00:36:00.000-04:00

So........after many months of hearing the new herd of mice within our walls i finally saw one tonight. To all those animal rights group out there...YOU MAY HAVE A NEW CAUSE. I have truly believed for the last severla months that they have been conspiring against me - to prevent me from sleeping and peace of mind. TODAY I HAVE PROOF OF THEIR INTELLIGENCE.

Here as I am typing away low and behold a small tiny rodent slips in under my doorway. It is the size of bottle cap. Really it was quite cute and much smaller than I would have expected. So, for several moments I attempted not so quietly to capture my visitor when I came to a sudden realization. I am much much to drunk to do this. So instead i climbed back onto my seat and continued typing. The moment the tapping of keys commenced again the little bugger scoots out from under my desk and dashes around the corner and under a wall. It was waiting for me to become distracted again. THAT, dear animals rights groups is a sign of intelligence and I really must admire that little bugger cause god knows i wouldnt' have had the patience to wait until the coast was clear.

Disclaimer

2005-06-05T00:08:00.000-04:00

Random thoughts of Silly is an online venting medium. It is a source of one individual's sense expression of anger, frustration, disbelief and other emotions. Its structure allows anyone with an Internet connection and World Wide Web browser to read and comment upon it's randomness and scarcasm. These are works of fiction that are only loosely based on actual life events. Therefore, please be advised that nothing found here has necessarily been reviewed by professionals nor are they representations of truth. Please read with caution and proceed with the implicit understanding that nothing found within this blog is serious.

I'm in a episode of Pleasantville

2005-05-25T23:57:00.000-04:00

Three teenagers are sitting on the street car across from me. The 2 boys (yes, they are young enough that I may call them boys) are wearing some kinda pseudo miliatry outfit and there is a girl sitting next to them. This is an actual conversation that I heard from them.....

Girl: Hey where is your blazer?
Boy1: OH NO!! I forgot!!!!
Boy2: I thought you had it in your bag with your hat.
Boy1: This is NOT good. I'm so going to get yelled at today.
Girl: Gosh! Look at your shoes didn't you polish them at all. [gosh!? Who uses the word gosh? ]
Boy1: they're not that bad.
Boy 1 looks at Boy 2's shoes.
Boy1: How did you get yours so shiny??
Girl: Here take your shoes off and I'll polish them for you.
at this point Girl takes from her backpack...I kid you not shoe polish and a rag and starts polishing the shoe!
Boy2: you can always tell [muffled words] that your blazer is getting fixed
Boy1: I can't do that...That would be lying.
Boy2: True.
Girl: I can't believe you just suggested that. LYING is very BAD!

At this point I left the streetcar.

SO here is my question. OMG are these people for real!!! Maybe this is a product of my cynicism, but the 14 yrs old of my acquaintance didn't worry about how shiny thier shoes were. Heck, when I was 14 I probably couldn't tell you what shoe polish was for.
It was too weird. I felt like I was in the twlight zone.

Why are IT services all the same?

2005-05-15T10:25:00.000-04:00

So, for no apparent reason yesterday the internet stopped working. And this of course resulted in a general mass hysteria within the household. The female half of the Tribble emerged from its unit and came running downstairs.

"CbKE!! The internet isn't working. Can you fix it?" [Well, how do you think I'm supposed to fix it you idiot. Reset, the damn router yourself!!! Argh.]
CbKE: "Yeah, hold on let finish my breakfast and I'll take a look."
f1/2T: "Ok, well that's fine. Its well I just can't work if the internet isn't working and I'd really would like it to work." [I still don't understand how this is my problem. And for f@#! sakes, you know where the off button as well as I do. ]
CbKE: "I"ll be just a minute." [go have sex or something and leave me alone]
f1/2T: "ok"
f1/2T stands at the modem staring alternatively looking at it and looking at CkBE.
f1/2T: "mmm, you will look at it right"
CbKE: "yeah, I will in a minute" [god you have a smaller attention span than the Stinky Monkey]
Rose: "oh and why don't you help us clean up the dining and kitchen while you're down here so that the place looks nicer for the person looking at your room." [Sweet! Rose you've done it. Now she'll run up stairs and stop bothering me. yes!]
f1/2T: "oh, mmmm, mmmm. Ah... well you know I really should go clean up my room."
f1/2T takes off up to her love nest at the speed of light.
Rose: "Was it something I said?" [hmmm there are times when I wonder about this girl]
CbKE:" hahahaha..."

Needless to say CkBE doesn't really do anything about the internet situation until of she realized how much she uses it as a procrastination method. HAHahahahaha After many minutes of frustration, realization dawns. Hmmm it's not the modem it's the router. So Ckbe, takes on the horrendous act of seeking out IT services from the corporation that makes the device.

Rose: "did you find out what's wrong?"
CkBE: "well it's the router not the modem cause it works if I plug the computer into the modem. So I'm going to try to look up the support number and call them" [right, need a pen gotta get up and get a pen]
CkBE returns to discover Rose is cleaning up the desk. Replacing the wires and reorganizing them so that she may play girl music. NOOOoooooooooo!!!!!!! (ok must admit there are moments when CkBE likes girly music)
CkBE:"um Rose, please don't clean I'm still trying to play with all those pieces to see if I can get them to work. Putting them away DOESN'T help me" [OMG, can this women stop cleaning for 5 f-ing seconds.]
Rose: "oh ok"

In the distance a heavy thundering could be heard. Is it a bird, a plan, a herd of stampeding mammoths, no it's Chris he has awakened to find that the internet isn't working. Chris emerges next to the desk and frantically starts seeking his connection muttering in unintelligable grumbles.

CkBE: "ah...Chris. The internet isn't working."
C: "what? why am I unplugged" [wow! he's still looking for his cable he really is slow sometimes]CkBE:"Chris, the no one's internet is working. There is something wrong with the router. I have disconnected everyone so that I can fix the router so that you can have your internet back." [crap! I wonder if I said that too fast]
C: "oh...so no one's internet works"
CkBE: "no"
C:"umm ok then" [pheww...]

After, numerous attempts and journeys through the website of the dreaded router company. CkBE emerges victorious to find the tech support number, only to discover that it is like all other tech support services. The navigation through the horrendous self-select maze took many moons to complete. When CkBE finally discovers the human person at the centre of the maze she discovers to her dismay it is a reincarnation of RICHARD SIMMONS!!!!!!!!

RS:"so MAM, how can I help you today" [MAM! Why does he make it sound like Yam?]
CkBE: "well our router doesn't work. We aren't getting any internet connection when connect the modem to the router but I am getting a connection when I connect the modem directly to the computer"
RS: "Are you sure your modem and your router is connected MAM?" [what the F!@# do you take me for, yes the DAMN things are connected]
CkBE: "yes I'm sure"
RS: "Are you sure you are getting a signal?" [I JUST SAID THAT IT WORKS FINE IF I AM NOT USING YOUR STUPID PRODUCT!!!!!!!]
CkBE: "yes, everything works unless I connect via the router"
RS: "ah well MAM, give me one moment" [why must they always play elevator music, argh!]

The monotonic sounds of the hold key. Sound like sirens that slowly put you into a trance. Until of course the trance is broken by the sound of the Stinky Monkey as he fornicates with the inannimate objects in the room.

RS:"oh well here's the problem MAM, your router hasn't been registered probably and it hasn't been getting the updates. Now I am going to register your product now and then reset it in a power cycle. You know what a power cycles is right MAM?" [why do you have to call it that? Just say turn everything off and then turn it all back own again]
CkBE: "Yes"

The cycle commences. The quest has been completed and internet returns!!

RS: "well if that will be all MAM, for future reference all our technical support data can be found on our website, simply type in the router model number and you will be able to access these pages. They will ALWAYS answer all your questions.
[Well if I could have found the answer there don't you think I would have actully avoid talking to you you Knobend!!!]I would like to thank you for using our services today, thank you and have a nice day."

Rant

2005-05-12T14:40:00.000-04:00

Ok. I promised that I would be more diligent concerning updating my blog. So sorry for those who are reading it who has never encountered my sense of logic. So begins the rant....

rant #1:
Don't worry sars your car is fine. However, the driving of it was an extremely stressful experience. As much as Rose is lovely and wonderful, she is a back seat driver and at some point i think i subconsciously made the car jerk more just to piss her off. hahahahha
Anyways, I have truly concluded that Toronto drivers are just plain mean, angry and just plain ignorant. No honking will not make me go faster than 70 nor will it make me be able to restart the car any faster (don't worry sars I only really did it once and it was on a hill). It only makes me want to sit there and simply turn my hazards so that I can piss you off more. There is another lane, GO INTO IT IF YOU ARE IN SUCH A HURRY!!! All in all it was a fairly sucessful process, we even managed to get it in the garage. Hahahaha

so rant #2:
Sorry, Sars your beautiful plan of how Beandog and Stinky Monkey would be fine with the sleeping arrangements didn't work out so well. Let's just say Beandog decided that it would be appropriate to cry like a little baby for about 15 mins. As much as i like seeing a grown man cry that was just no so cool. He did manage to calm down and take a nap but the moment I got up to go to the bathroom he started again. Which really really didn't go over well when i tried to lock him in the room. The he start to REALLY get upset. He was panicking so much that the Stinky Monkey who was quietly sleeping in the Super Hippy's room demanded to be let out. After much running around and screaming the both ended up in the Supper Hippy's room. Which apparently as i have since discovered also wasn't an ideal solution because Beandog spent half the night restlessly pacing. And after letting have the free run of the house spent the rest of the night aimlessly searching for Sars.

so here is the bottom line. THe dogs and the car is fine. Sars, by the time you get back i may have started medicating both your dogs. but look at the bright side, at least there'll be a supply of valium and prozac at home.

interesting fact

2005-04-24T20:31:00.000-04:00

Since i have become a nursing student (and being a closet smoker) i've repeatedly been asked this question.

Why do so many doctors and nurses smoke?

Well how the f@*& should I know, it's not as though i started smoking the moment i entered the program. But let me as those out there this question, what would you rather have. A medical professional who has felt the need to take a little jaunt outside, even in the dead of winter to light up a cancer stick so that they could get a break from runnning around for 20 hours straight. OR one that has decided it F*&% it and has gone out for a drink. I don't know about you but i rather have the doc/nurse that smells like tar than the one that can't hold whatever insturment of torture that is currently going to go up your ass, arm or into your mouth.

to write or not to write

2005-04-24T20:23:00.000-04:00

dear readers, (ok dear Danno and Sarcastrix)
i no longer really truly know what to write. i feel as though each time i write it is full homicidal rage against the tribbles (nee Shane & Gina). So therefore, i would like some advice on how i can expand writing material. I.e. help me make up names for other characters such as those i have encountered through school. If 150 women, does not cause me to write catty, sarcastic comments i have absolutely no idea what will.

CbKE

...wow! And I thought I was a hyprocrite

2005-03-01T17:34:00.000-05:00

New note on message board in kitchen states
"Piss off! Why can't we all f^&%#$*@g clean up after ourselves"

Now, I don 't actually know the origins of this message but i'm going to attribute it to Chris...well considering it's a very Chris thing to say.

I came home today to find Gina and Shane snuggled up like a couple of peas in a pod eatting their dinner on the couch.
G & S: "hey"[wow! ...i wonder if they ever come up for oxygen]
CbKE: "Hey, howz it going?" [great does this mean that there is a great giant mess in the kitchen again!!!]
G&S: "Good" [walk away...just walk away...they can go back to making out after you walk away]
Discover to CbKE's SHOCK that the dishes are done, the counters are wiped and the nasty note on the fridge. [hmmmm.....I shouldn't ask...I really shouldn't ask it's a good start, this is progress]
CbKE: "ummmm....is someone upset about the cleaning schedule?" [DAmnit!! OPen mouth insert foot]
G: "wasn't me or shane... I think it was either Ford or Chris" [I vote CHRIS!!!!!]
CbKE: "Ah" picks up pot in dishrack [ewwwwwwww....all the appearance of clean and yet nothing is actually clean...great now i'm going to have to rewash these after they go upstairs]
G: "yeah...and did you see I cleaned the kitchen and Shane wiped all the counters, and I did all the dishes" [right.......it's not doing the dishes if you rise them and put them in the rack. AHHHH!!]
CbKE: "how lovely" [F^%$$^&&**&@#$#%$&%^&*@*&#$&@#%^$&#%^]
S: "yeah. Well I've done my weekly thing for the kitchen now" [WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!]
CbKE: "its' Tuesday, Shane. IF you were going to do one big clean you should have done it later in the week" [Is he kidding me? Tell me he's kidding me...]
S: "I'm not going to clean other people's mess. There is nothing else to do." [Urge to kill rising...RISING"
CbKE: "umm...well to be fair you should at least try to keep the stove top clean and do the kitchen laundry at the end of the week" [Damnit! i knew i forgot to do something last week]
S: "huh"
G: "you know the dish towels and stuff...don't worry we'll just throw it in with the laundry later" [ewwwwww that's just gross]
S&G resume pre-cotial position on couch.
[gotta get outta here.....]

So, here is my big rant.. F*(^*&@*#&^!*@&# hyprocrites...wah wah wah i don't want to clean up anybody elses mess. WELL, here's the problem. YOU don't clean up your messes you leave it for everyone else to clean it up for you!!!!!
AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE PEOPLE
[urge to kill rising!!! Rising!!]

The poop report

2005-02-22T17:07:00.000-05:00

Gina: "what is that smell?" [crap...she's smelled the pot]
CkBE: "I dunno ... where'd you smell it?" [it's not me is it?]
G: "I don't know but it's right by the front door" [whew!! It's not me]
Stinky Monkey: "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Nooooooooooooo. NOOooooooooooooooo. It's the Nibbler! MUST Chase NIblBler!!!!!!!" [Hmmm. Note to self: Bring SM Ritalin. Lots of it, maybe Lithium]
Beandog: "Just walking through. Just walk through. Is that food? I'd like food. Food please. Yes please." [Well that's weird he usual head straight for the food]
G: "Come with me and tell me if you smell it." [Crap now I have to get up off my ass]
SM: "I am the all powerful Goa'uld, you must all bow down before me!!!! HAHAHAHAHAaaa.. What just bit my tail?!! Nibbler!!!! NIBBbbleerrrrrrrrrr i will chase you till the ends of the earth. .....OH! oh! what's that! It's shiny. OHhhhhhhhhh shiny pretty!" [Definately ADD.....i wonder how he has that much energy]

G and CbKE take the long and ardious hike to the living room.

G: "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! That is poop." [No shit Sherlock....well ok it is shit]
CbKE: "yup"
G: "Who do you think did it?" [well, let's see if i can put my powers of deduction to work?....Big poop would therefore equal big dog. Therefore i must conclude that it's BEANDOG!!]
CbKE: "Well considering it's the size of Nibbler I would have to say it was Shane or Chris." [Ow!!! She didn't have to hit me.....I was just kidding]
G: hahaha VERY funny [whoa...I didn't know she was capable of sarcasm"
SM: "I'm here!!! I'm Here!!! Pay attention to me!!!!!!!!!!"
G: "Well, we're just going to have to wait for Sarcatrix to get home to clean it up cause that's just gross." [Right...Like leaving it here isn't]
CbKE: "Dont' worry about it, I'll do it"
G: "Oh well you shouldn't have to do it you should wait" [Right now that you've made me smell it and i know it's here]
CbKE: "Don't stress about it. OH look Shane's home." [well that will make her go away]
SM: "BEandog is in trouble!! Beandog is in trouble! hahahahhaa....NOooooo don't beat me Beandog.. I didn't mean it!! noo....it was nibbler yes it was nibbler"
G: "OH...hehehhe....well ok....we'll be upstairs if you need us" [Bunnies!! They are SOOO bunnies!"

Meanwhile: Nibbler sits underneath the couch with a evil smile and rubs her paws together. HAHAHAHAHAHAhahaa

Funeral

2005-02-21T21:33:00.000-05:00

Memorial for the dead mouse in the corner.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to say goodbye to mousie. He (maybe she) was a good mouse, small....furry...and gray. I still remember the time when she/he sustained him/herself on a powerbar for three months. It was a truly heroic effort...well simply because we all now how disgusting powerbars are. We thought you hand only gone for a trip dear mousie had we known you were lying there decomposing we would have come to take you to the green bin much sooner. So to the big compost heap you go. You're in a better place now, in mouse heaven where mice roam free in the hills of cheese and where you can laugh at cats from afar. Farewell, dear mousie."

Sweatpant Coutre

2005-02-20T23:23:00.000-05:00

Cute but Kinda Evil: "Look, look, look what I've got." [i love shopping!! i love shopping!!]
Sarcastrix: "They're sweatpants" [She's rolling her eyes, un oh .....]
CbKE: "what?" [hmmm ....i really should have had that second coffee]
S: "Like you need more sweatpants" [ but i like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
CbKE: "I like sweatpants..."
S: "I know"
CbKE: "I also like Yoga pants."
S: "What is the difference?" [OMG...there is SUCH a difference]
CbKE: "ewwwwww is Ford buying trackpants" [OH god they're tapered....hmmm....I wonder if i should tell him that they are probably WAY to short........ nah]
S: "Yes, but I made him promise not to wear them out." [Yes!]

So, after that conversation I realized the need to educate others on the finer points of sweatpant coutre. There are several catagorizes that one can choose from when selecting a "sweatpant", one must select carefully and pair it with the correct accessories before you can get the desired effect. First and foremost, they MUST NOT BE TAPERED!

1) The Look: Exam Hell (or period week)
Definition: Baggy cotton sweatpants that are rolled down at the waist, accompanied by oversized sweatshirt, pony tail and glasses.
This look is made more effect if the pants have a crotch that hangs down to the knees and knees that hang half way down the shins.
Meaning: 1) "i don't care what i look like...i have way to much crap to cram into my head" 2) "shut up and leave me alone!!! I don't care...just give me chocolate!!! mmmmmmmm...chocolate"

2) The Look: Velour mania
Definition: Matching velour tracksuits with very form fitting tops and wide legged bottoms.
There are several variations to this look: 1) JLo: this is from the original fad from a couple of years ago...for this look you will need itty bitty purse that will hold your lipstick, avator glasses and stelleto runners. 2) University student taking advantage of JLo fad: Tracksuit...sweet. PJ's and going out close all in one. Accessories recquired for this look include runners with enormous laces. Also, pockets should contain pens, a dime bag and rolling paper.
Meaning: A) "look i am SOOO cool, I dress just like JLo" B) "Sweet, I don't have to get changed in the morning...Dude. my hands are huge!"

3) The Look: Yoga mama
Definition: TNA or Lululemon, body skimming, ass hugging yoga outfit. Like Velour mania there are several variations to this look. A) Non-excersizing gym member: to complete outfit you need an expensive pair of runners, cell phone, perfect make-up, fake nails, fake tan and salon styled hair. B) Trendaholic: dressing the outfit for the sake that yoga and it's various paraphenial is trendy. Accessories include all yoga related materials. C) Asslicious: no other accessories required.
Meaning: a) "I am sooo not here to sweat, I'm here to look good. The gym is where I go to get checked out, cause I am SO hot. Damn it! I broke a nail." B) "OK...so in Feburary, I ABSOLUTELY have to buy the deep V-tank in electric purple cause purple is SOOO Feburary" C) "OMG, OMG, these pants actually make my ass look good. SWEEET!"

yay presents!!

2004-12-26T04:39:00.000-05:00

YAYYYYYY XMAS PRESENTS

i'm such a spoiled little snot

hahahahahhaha

shopping hell

2004-12-25T04:44:00.000-05:00

OMG OMG

ok....5 more mins and i'm going to FREAK out

must not freak...must not freak

will endeavour to get out of the grocery store without killing anyone!!!

killing is bad (cannot get presents if in jail)

DO not Panic

cannot kill...CANNOT kill

must remain calm

will remain calm if everyone willl get out of my F@#$#@ way!!!!!!

ok...ok....calm down......breath in vitality...exhale tension

WHAT THE F@#$#@ !!!!!!! WHY IS THERE NO F@#($*& CINNAMON!!!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOmocidal urge rising!!!!!

doh

2004-12-25T04:41:00.000-05:00

"is the humiliator on?"

"yes...i mean no"

"well what is it?"

"i don't know....i don't really understand all the dials"

"hmmmmm............."

" i keep playing with it and it just makes louder and louder noises"

"ah ...i see so it's working perfectly"

Mercury DRAG..........

2004-12-24T16:00:00.000-05:00

so mercury has gone direct.....why do i still feel the effects of the retrograde...

first i wait 45 mins for the bus that takes me to the airport and so that i only get to the airport 20 mins before the flight leaves to have the perky Jetsgo agent tell me...well "oh we'll get you on but you're luggage probably won't get there till tomorrow. But have a nice day and thanks for flying with jetsgo."
...and the stupidity of running all the way to the gate and they're just boarding anyways

second....train the seattle.....hmmmm we are suppposed to get there by 10pm....hmmmm so why are we still at the boarder at 930pm....interesting

....shit car breaks down on the I5...F*&^%#$#!!!!!!!!!
wait an hour for the tow truck and taxi.......

but mercury has gone direct...THERE SHOULDN"T BEe any delays

Fear of flying

2004-12-17T16:00:00.000-05:00

I hate flying

not actually flying....mind you sitting for 5 hrs straight with a baby crying constantly 3 rows ahead of you is extremely annoying. But the baby can't help him/herself.....what is REALLY annoying is the crazy person in front of you who is bitching about having no leg room although they have leaned their chair back all the way so that now they are lying in your lap.....AHHHHH!!!!

Question: why is it no one can actually needs to go to the bathroom until everyone else does?
2.5 hrs in and no one needs to go to the washroom but next thing you know there is a line up that stretches all the way up the cabin has the urge to go...standing there like a can of sardines...what is it? everyone suddenly develop a bladder infection?

Also and NO i don't want to "purchase" anything....just let me continue sleeping don't keep waking me cause you think that if you ask me one more time i might actually buy some of that over expensive coffee....AHHHH!!

So ladies and gentlemen this is my fear of flying...the PEOPLE....all those people that won't simply go away so that you can have some peace and quiet and some comfort while being stuck in a aluminium can being hurled accross the sky.....

what???!!!!

2004-12-07T18:43:00.000-05:00

"i turned the dehummmmildor ..off"

"the humiliator"

"yes i was getting tired of the humiliation so i turned it off"

"the humiliator"

"yes the dehumiliator"

"you mean the dehumidifier"

"oh is that what that things is called???"

New Harry Potter Spell!!!

2004-12-07T16:07:00.000-05:00

this is what studying get's you ...just random silly thoughts....

So having a discussion with a classmate in a mad study session and we were going through contraception...specifically Coitus interruptus or in more layman's terms "pulling out." Instead of learning the technical aspects of it here is what we came up with......

Harry Potter's 7th year.

New spell to be taught
Coitus Interruptus: for wizards who don't want to make more little wizards
"during intercourse take wand out move in "a in and out" thrusting pattern while saying Coitus Interruptus!!!"

hahahahahahhahaaha

eek!!

2004-11-19T17:37:00.000-05:00

Oh god ...oh god...
must write paper !!!! but the nintendo is calling...ahhhhhhhhhh
must resist the temptation...must resist..
but i'm soo close to finish the level

oh god oh god
must be good...paper important

mmmmm...i'll just play for 10 mins it will ok

oh god...
must not panic!!! will be fine. just need lots of coffee.
mmmmmmmmm coffeeeeeeeee

if ya want madame butterfly go to the opera

2004-11-18T23:15:00.000-05:00

"I like asian girls"

i hate those words....ok guys...just cause you like asian girls doesn't mean you have to tell us. Cause with those simple words you have totally ruined any chance you had of getting laid. ...I mean dude the last guy i dated said those words to me on the second date and i never answered his phone calls again. Actually the exact words were "i love asian girls, their so hard working and submissive, so into family, so nice"...hmmmm have ya seen my tattoo???

each time someone says that my internal radar goes.."RUN!! RUN!!!" i don't need to be lumped into that image of a itty bitty girl in a mandarin dress. Those things are damn uncomfortable. (yes that means i actually own one...i had a moment).

Now having said that i do love all the shit i get away with being asian. Like the ability to get away from strange creepy men by looking at them blankly, pretending i don't speak english and just to giggle inanely as i cover my mouth with my hand. hahahahhaha i still can't believe how many people buy that as a normal reaction.

don't judge me...you're the fashion victim

2004-11-17T18:34:00.000-05:00

so how is it ok for someone to ride a bike at 9am in the morning in orange fishnets, orange ankle boots, black capris and a black poorboy hat and it's not ok for me to wear a denim dress and knee high boots. It's not as though i was going out in a formal wear....

I don't get it...how does someone wearing that amazing combintation of clothes turn around a give me that look...oh you know that look....that look that says "what on earth are you wearing"....

weird....

did i miss the memo about dressing up in halloween colours???

Crazy PSycho

2004-11-16T23:33:00.000-05:00

hmmmm....I knew that there were crazy psychotic people out there and they're generally really cool, but then there are those who give all us crazy psychotic people bad names. See I'm crazy but I not a bitch (well most of the time). But I think I met the queen of all bitches this weekend.
My new job is this crazy serving place where i have to run around serving people drinks in a really big really dark theatre. And so far its been great but there is always that one person that makes me remember why I really really hate people. This crazy person all of a sudden as I had her the bill makes a great big fuss that I had given her really bad service cause she only got ONE round of drinks and wants to see the manager. Which really did her no good cause he made her pay for them anyways...but to keep a long story short this woman grabs my arm later as the lights come back on in the theatre and calls me a "little c**t" and screams at me about the service.
....now I don't know about anyone else but who say's that!!?? It was soo weird...and 2 seconds later she wants to know how big my section was and how long i've been there. Well considering i was serving drinks to about 200 people and i'd only been here for 2 weeks she suddenly changes her mind. I am no longer a "little c**t instead i'm "sweetie" and how it was totally not my fault for screwing up but the "fucking f****t" of a manger should know how to do his job better. screaming that she ran a business and that SHE was looking for a place where should could entertain her clients and how SHE was SOOO disappointed in the service.

And during all this time i was standing there thinking about the nice satisfying pop her eyeballs would make if i just jab them lightly with my pen and what kind of business could she possible have that requires you to entertain clients in a darkened place. Strange....

So anyways....instead of maiming or killing her the manager and i instead sat at the bar after work and entertain ourselves by making fun of her and drinking.